I just returned from the Robert M. Ross Heart hospital where I had a CT angiogram. I've been having an array of symptoms since October 30, 2020, when I went to ER with fatigue, breathlessness, irregular pounding heart beat, nausea and a deep feeling of collapse. I was so shocked that the ER team was focusing on my heart. I figured they would take a Covid test and declare it as Covid. An impatient me had to lay in ER for three hours while they monitored my heart. That sentence - an impatient me - was a clue to my state. I was so irritated and angry that I had to be there for so long - I felt I had to get back to work asap. I was going crazy on that ER table, unable to slow down for that three hours, resisting what was going on. Slowing down has become the new name for my life.
There was nothing conclusive from that ER visit. Two different cardiologists who saw my EKG said, "Nothing to be alarmed about. But not a stellar reading." The symptoms persisted into December when I finally saw a cardiologist. I had to take pause. A big pause. Then a bigger pause when I developed trigeminal neuralgia. And adding to the pause a rib broke just from bending over the car console. It seemed that each time I was determined to jump back in, another part of me was just as strongly needing to rest longer. With Swamiji's blessing the trigeminal neualgia cleared up almost instantly. The broken rib healed easily and quickly. My homeopath reminded me that these were not isolated incidents. They all had at their root the heart center, the anahata chakra. The same way Swamiji said that the west looks at the body as separate parts making up a whole instead of seeing the body as whole, the western view would say i had a heart/BP issue, a broken rib, and an irritated nerve. The holistic view is that the energy level of my heart center, the heart chakra, was very low and my physical system was weakened resulting in the symptoms. So I have been and am resting. I thought a lot about what the CT results would mean. If there was a blockage, it would account for all my symptoms and we could go from there. It would be an external "excuse" I could lean on, explaining the situation. If It was a negative I would be relieved. And that relief would free up energy, allowing me to get back on track. I got the results in less than 4 hours. Negative! No blockages. My heart is in excellent shape. So now what? What can I lean on now for the symptoms I am still having? How can my energy be so low if my heart is not blocked? Aren't I happy that my heart is not blocked? Today on a walk I had a sudden vision of me painting people's hearts. With my third eye I would see their opening and blockages in an array of beautiful colors. The painting itself would be healing. But I don't paint. Then I thought, anyone can learn anything. I could take a few painting classes and learn how to paint. I'll tuck that away for now. And use some markers to paint my own heart. Today song; Leo Kottke's Tiny Island www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxH8cW5H5Uw
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
Bodhanaa NithyanandaWriting to Discover and En-spire. Archives
April 2021
Categories |